Think back to when you were out on your own for the very first time. It doesn’t matter if you were just fresh out of high school or fresh out of college. You were just realizing that you were totally in control of your life. You were unprepared and you were scared out of your mind. You weren’t sure of what you should do, and your friends were just as confused as you were.
That’s just about where your recent grad is right now. They’re a bit nervous and need some time to adjust to what is happening so don’t expect them to be able to adapt to this new life without some hiccups. I’m not saying they need to be babied but a little respect for what they are going through is required. They have been in school for 17 years, they knew what they were going to do every day; go to class, do homework, extracurricular activities and now their regular schedule is gone.
So, how can you help?
Talk to your young adult about what their plans are now that they have graduated. Don’t be surprised or frustrated if they say they really don’t know. Ask if they wouldn’t mind if you helped them brainstorm what they can do with their degree. It’s not a good idea to start yelling or lecturing about how they should know what they want to do and remind them of how much money was spent to put them through college. You want to be seen as helping a partner in their life not the nag.
Help them create a budget. Most times, when recent grads come out they have never really had to be responsible for their own money before. So, help your grad with a good understanding of money management, saving for emergencies, and credit cards. Get them thinking about their total debts, including upcoming student debt and the best way to pay it all off and save at the same time.
Encourage them to get from behind the computer and meet people face-to-face. Suggest that they sign up with staffing agencies, volunteer, and join their industry’s professional organizations. It’s not who you know, it’s who knows you!
This is a tough time for them. It’s the start of their life and as a parent I know you want to continue to be part of that growth. Remember this is an adult now and they may make decisions you completely don’t agree with and that is okay but sometimes you have to let them make those mistakes or go in a direction you don’t approve of because this their life and their choices. Just be on the sidelines ready offer encouragement if it doesn’t pan out the way they hoped or be their loudest cheerleader when they have achieved their dream.
Your Mission
Talk to your son or daughter and ask him or her what the plan is now that they have graduated. Ask, even if you think you know. Then start discussing ways you can help them.
What do you find is your biggest issue in helping your recent grad?
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