One of my good friends, who I’ve never actually met in person, Jenny Blake, who blogs over on Life After College, recently wrote An Open Letter to Love. She boldly and publicly told Love that they needed some time apart. I totally understand that. Sometimes you need to take a break and come back with a fresh perspective.
In her blog she also mentioned the paradoxical clichés that were shoved at her by the well-meaning. And, it got me thinking about all the stupid clichés that people say when it comes to love and dating. Yeah, I say them too but this is so NOT about me right now. So, let’s go through the clichés that make no sense or maybe they do but tearing them down would make me feel better right now.
Our first one comes from Xena Warrior Princess. (I’m watching it on Netflix right now. Don’t judge me!) Xena’s best friend, Gabrielle, told a story…
“Once a long, long time ago, all people had two heads and four legs. Then the gods threw down thunder bolts, that split everyone into two. Each then had two legs and one head, the separation left both sides with a desperate yearning to be reunited because they each shared the same soul. And ever since then, all people spend the rest of their life searching for the other half of their soul.”
Is that fair to say? Is there only ONE who has the other half of my missing soul? I used to love that story but lately, um, not so much. It’s that idea that I need someone to complete me that no longer sits right with me. Honestly, I don’t even really know what that is supposed to mean. How is someone supposed to complete you? How do you determine if and when you are incomplete? If we are continuously changing, learning, and growing are we ever complete on our own? And, who said we are supposed to be complete?
You have to love yourself or no one else is going to love you.
This is so NOT true. I have met many people in relationships with someone who is deeply in love with them. Of course, that totally doesn’t mean the relationship will last. Instead, I think the saying should be: If you don’t love yourself, someone will love you but will eventually leave you because they can’t put up with your desperation and annoying insecurities. Tada!
You’ll find someone when you least expect it.
Maybe it’s me but are you ever really expecting to find “the one” when you go out? I know most people hope to find someone when they go out to the club, but who out there really is expecting? You could be but I never am and that could be yet another reason why I’m still single.
You have to stop being so picky.
This one drives me up the freaking wall. Why is it that because I have standards and am not willing to compromise it turns into me being picky? This is usually said by well meaning parents who are wondering when they are going to be grandparents. If there are qualities you are looking for in your partner, you have every right to pass on those potentials who don’t have them. I’m not settling and neither should you!
If you love them set them free. If it was meant to be then they will come back to you.
One of my best friends posted this on my wall when I was trying to think of other clichés about love and dating. My mother has a different version. “If you love someone set them free, if they come back to you it was meant to be. If they don’t, hunt them down and kill them.” So much for having patience.
Finding “the one.”
I do not agree that there is only one person out there for us to love. When couples age and one dies, the survivor often does find someone else to love. To me, that says there are many people out there who have the qualities we are looking for and are a perfect match for us. It’s just about timing when we meet one of them. I just can’t believe that there is only one person and that we are just lucky enough to find “the one” in the part of the country, state, city, or street we happen to be in.
There are so many different phrases out there that people say. Some they believe, others because they feel they have to be able to say something that will help or make someone else feel better. And, depending on the day, the circumstances, and the person, you will most definitely hear me say them, too!
How about you? What are some clichés that you can’t stand but you use them anyway? Or even ones, you feel have some truth in them? Or, do you totally disagree with me?
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