Single Parents: How do you get back into the dating game?

Just because you have kids, doesn’t mean you can never date again. I can imagine that it’s not easy dating with children whether you’re single do to the death of a spouse, divorce or separation. Whichever the case, make sure to take time to deal with the feelings of loss and resolve any feelings from the previous relationship. And when you’re ready, jump right into the dating game. I know it’s scary now especially since you have a child to consider but that shouldn’t stop you from having a social life. Although it may be difficult dating with younger children because you have to find a babysitter, it can still be done. You should not use your children as an excuse for not dating.

And if you are concerned that no one is going to want to date you because you have children, don’t worry.  Other than me, there are plenty of people who don’t mind being part of ready-made family. So, when you meet someone, don’t hide the fact that you have a child. Be upfront with it. If they can’t deal, then heck with’em.

Dating for Parents Guidelines

• One thing that keeps popping up in my research is not asking your child permission to date. You don’t need their approval. Of course you would like it if they loved the person you feel worthy enough to introduce to your child but by asking your child if it is okay for you to date you are giving them the control. Overall, it’s never a stellar idea to give anyone control over what you decide.

• Don’t keep your dating life a secret from your children. By doing that you are giving the impression you are doing something wrong and you’re ashamed of what you’re doing. So just sit them down and have a talk. Explain to them that dating is similar to them spending time with their friends and that you want to spend time with people around your own age.

• If you are a casual dater, which is fine because you don’t want to settle for anyone just because you’re a parent, you don’t want to introduce every single person you date to your child. It could lead to much confusion, especially with young children where they might think that every new person they meet may become a new parent. And while we are at it, no sleepovers, that will definitely cause problems with “the ex.”

When the time is right for you to introduce someone, make sure it is someone special. There is no time frame as to when to do it. It depends on you and your relationship. You might feel this is the one after the fifth or sixth date or months down the road. Only you know when the time is right.

I recently did a  show on Dating with Children with Kristen Houghton, author of the popular new book,
AND THEN I’LL BE HAPPY! Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness  and Put Your Own Life First. We went more in-depth on the topic, discussing how to introduce your child to your new person, talking to your ex about you dating someone new, and more. So, check out the show and share your experiences.